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Mom guilt: Working moms miss moments

Filed Under: Family Values, Motivated Moms Tagged With: , , , 7 Comments

Working moms miss moments in our children’s life. I have been criticized for being a working mom. I have questioned being a working mom. I have embraced being a working mom. I have felt peace being a working mom. I have tried to find balance in being a working mom. Yesterday through the weekend, I am on my second out of state business trip of the year. It is a significant change from my former private sector career that had significant business travel to my now state government role. I have been home for moments with my husband and kids 90% more this year than my previous career. But today…

I am touring an agrochemical company facility learning about Omega 9 healthy oils and wearing a stunning hair net.

I packed my suitcase yesterday morning for this trip after taking the girls to their home daycare and 30 minutes before I had to leave for the airport. I still remembered how to pack efficiently like my former days of intense business travel.

I am staying in a hotel room in silence, where I will hardly be because of tours and meetings throughout the next few days.

I am far from the prairie, soaking in the city view while my family is busy at home with prairie life. 

I get to learn from small business owners, value added agriculture companies, biotechnology stakeholders and a dairy farmer this weekend. Today I learned all about the amazing process of how wood veneer is made in Indiana.

I randomly ran into one of my friends I met in my past career who also is a traveling, working mama in the Minneapolis airport yesterday. It was encouraging to see her for a short time, reminding me that working moms make choices and sacrifices just like stay at home moms. It is a balancing, tight rope act we follow. 
But at the end of the day, I am a working mom that at times misses moments. Even if I have changed careers to be home more, I am not always there. And last night, on our home field, our son hit his first ever home run for our small town Legion baseball team. The ball went right over the fence into left field. 
Hunter’s first home run, June 21, 2012
I received an immediate text message from my husband and then the picture after the game from my brother with our son holding his first ever home run baseball. My eyes welled up with tears when the picture came through on my phone. I wasn’t there. But then I thought more about it. Will our son remember his mom wasn’t in the stands on his first home run? Maybe. But mostly he will remember the moment of the home run. After all, he is a teenage boy. He isn’t overly concerned about me unless it concerns food, transportation or clean clothes. 
What I think our son will remember is that a majority of the time, I am there and a consistent mom. And even though I wasn’t there last night his grandparents, sisters, dad and uncle were. We are a consistent family. Today, I embrace I am a working mom that misses moments, thankfully, with a tremendous family that supports one another. I have peace, am always seeking some semblance of balance and will keep going as best I know how as a working mom, for my kids, husband, family and career that I love. 
What brings you balance and keeps you going?

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  2. Elizabeth Martin says

    Katie – thank you for this post. I don’t have kid’s yet. We hope to start a family some time soon. My mom stayed home with us till we were in school. I am begining to realize that this will probably not be the case for me. It’s nice to hear from someone who is a working mom and knowing it can be done!

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  3. Aimee @ everydayepistle.com says

    Katie, you’re doing an incredible job raising your children and setting an example for them. Consistency is key. I bet they know without a doubt they are loved and treasured by you, no matter where they are or where you are.

    I also bet if you were at home all the time (like I am), you’d feel guilty about not contributing financially or not showing your kids that women can excel in careers or a million other things I have worried over some days. SAHM or working mom, there’s enough guilt to go around.

    Love the hair net btw.

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  4. Joe Cheray says

    I struggled last year leaving Anthony at home when I went to Des Moines to speak around Mother’s Day.

    I think it is hard for anyone who is a parent to miss key moments in our children’s lives. Especially the parents who are walking the walk everyday and being there for their kids. We want to be there for every moment no matter rather it is a little moment or a big moment.

    *HUGS* I am glad you shared this.

    Reply

  5. Michelle says

    Congrats to Hunter! I only know you in blogland, but I have to say that you are so much more involved/interested in your family’s lives than several people I know. Keep up your good work! LOVE the hair net 🙂

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  6. LindaG says

    Congratulations, Hunter!

    I think what matters most is the virtues you instill.
    Our boys were raised in a military family. I think it’s the time you spend with them that they remember most, not what you didn’t do.

    *hugs* ♥

    Reply

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