• Home
  • About
  • Connect
  • Press/Media

The Pinke Post

  • Life in North Dakota
  • Recipes
  • Small Town Living
  • Women In Ag

Posted By Katie On March 4, 2016 1 Comment

4 daily questions to ask your spouse and kids

Filed Under: Family Values Tagged With: family, working mom 1 Comment

We eat family meals together almost every evening unless there’s a school or church event to attend. We set the table and sit down together. Some people tell me it’s a lost art, but I don’t know family life any other way.

A family meal is how we connect in a hurried world. No electronics are allowed. Sometimes the food is slow cooked for hours, sometimes it’s thrown together in minutes and on Friday nights we often pick up pizza from the local pizza shop. The Pinke Post Shucking CornThe food preparation is important, but it’s not as vital as the conversations among my husband, our three kids and me.

Our six-year-old daughter, Anika, forces the conversation deeper than just a few highlights from our day. Every night she asks four questions, and we have to answer every question without repeating a previous answer (except on the last question).

Anika thinks she invented these questions because she has been spearheading the exercise since she could talk. Ask QuestionsAbout a decade ago, though, a Grace City, N.D. rancher, mom and confidant shared with me the questions she asks her children each day. I tucked them away in my memory bank and expanded on them with our kids.

Our nightly ritual starts with Anika picking one person at the table and then we work around (usually clockwise). If you’re a guest at our table, you’re expected to have an answer. And so we begin:

What is the best part of your day? Depending on who gets to answer first, my husband, Nathan, or I often say “right now.” There’s seldom nothing better than sharing a meal and conversation with your family. This question gives everyone something to celebrate, even on the mundane days.

What was the worst part of your day? This question merits a specific answer from our kids, especially our teenage son. Even though he’s a strong communicator, he answers “nothing” when you ask him what happened at school. We’ve worked to find other ways to communicate and learn from our teenager. This question has proved helpful.

By asking this question, we learn about something that might have remained unspoken, could have snowballed into a situation much worse or would be reflected later in test scores or grades or even from a teacher or coach.

On a great day, there are times someone says “I haven’t had a worst part.” Those are moments to celebrate also.

What is one thing you can improve on? No matter what age or stage you are in life, we all can improve. Listening to how my husband and kids want to improve makes me want to improve myself. Sometimes the improvement relates back to the worst part of the day, working on study skills, preparation, patience or kindness.

What did you have for lunch today? Nathan, Hunter and I often eat lunch at home together. Elizabeth, our second-grader, and Anika eat at school. Nevertheless, Anika loves this question. She talks about lunch, who said what, who got in trouble, what she didn’t like about the meal or if she was a member of the “clean plate club.”

This is the only school year all three of our children are in school together, from kindergarten to 12th grade. Next year, we’ll continue our nightly questions around our dining room or outdoor table but Hunter will be at college. I think we might to have Skype or Facetime a couple times a week to include Hunter in the question-and-answer session.4 Questions To AskFamilies celebrate their best, their worst and their improvements together. It’s difficult in a hurried life with a full schedule to carve out the time to listen and learn from one another. But it’s necessary. Even if you’re an empty nester, make supper, set the table and sit down for a meal together and ask your spouse a series of questions. If you’re single or widowed, ask a friend, child or sibling over for supper and then ask them questions.

Connecting through purposeful and intentional conversation is key to developing relationships. Asking sincere questions and listening to the answers, away from distractions is pivotal to healthy relationships. I’m thankful for the six-year-old in our family who keeps us on task every time we sit down to share a meal together.

Do you eat family meals together? Do you have routine questions you ask to spur discussion?

(This was originally published as my weekly Agweek column.)

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Print
Previous Post: « Leap Day Region Qualifier Basketball Game
Next Post: When Small Town Rivalries Form Friendships »

Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

  1. Boston Family Vacation - The Pinke Post says:
    June 25, 2016 at 5:31 am

    […] at dinner, Anika asked her routine end-of-the-day questions she asks us at home. Read about the 4 Daily Questions to ask your kids and spouse here. Everyone had different foods that were their favorites, moments and places we’ve visited […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Welcome to the Prairie…

I am a mom of three kids and a wife to Nathan. Together we live on the North Dakota prairie, 97 miles from a Starbuck's. I share about family, food, farming and the prairie that I love. I used to commute 98 miles one-way to work but it required too much coffee. So now I am home, consulting, speaking, writing and primarily, juggling family life.
See more of our life on the prairie... Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter

Stay in Touch…

Get the news from the prairie delivered directly to your inbox when it's hot off the press!

from my kitchen. . .

Iron Chef Challenge & Thankful Thursday Banana Cake Recipe

Why I Must Cook Cabbage For My Husband

Canning Spicy Dilly Beans

farm life

Favorite Farm Girls

  • Beyer Beware
  • GOODEness Gracious
  • The Wife of a Dairyman
  • Fresh from the Farm

Griggs Dakota

Visit our 5th generation family farm...

Latest Recipes

How To Make Snowman Sundaes

Real Farmwives & Friends: My Favorite Christmas Entertaining Recipes

Rhubarb Sauce Recipe

More Posts from this Category

Life on the Prairie…

More Posts from this Category

Women in Agriculture

Ladies Night on a North Dakota farm

Sarah Nasello’s Party on the Prairie Giveaway

Debbie Lyons-Blythe of Kids, Cows and Grass & The Need For Organ Donors

More Posts from this Category

Footer

Archives

Categories

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2023 ·Captivating Theme ·Custom Designed by Design Chicky· Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.