As my husband and I contemplated the positives and negatives of me changing my routine and career, I blurted out one night a few weeks ago to him, “I promise I will be so wifey!” He smirked and said, “Wifey? That sounds disrespectful.”
And then I explained “wifey” to him.
I haven’t been the traditional wife that my mother, grandma or mother-in-law probably have been. I have not been even the wife that many of you working moms and wives have been. I have been a loving, loyal, honest and trustworthy wife. I have always kept the vows we exchanged. But I am the wife that has left early in the morning and come home at night. I have been the wife that travels, calling my husband in tears when I have travel delays or am driving home through a snowstorm. My dad used to be a small business owner before he was a full time farmer. He traveled and worked like my career has been. I am very much like my father, whether I choose to admit it on a daily basis or not. I have cooked. I have picked out the kids outfits each work night or laid them out ahead of my business travel. I have started laundry and rarely finished. I can count the times on my two hands that I have gotten on my hands and knees and washed floors. I run fast and hard throughout most days. It doesn’t seem very “wifey” to me.
But as I explained to my husband with my “leap of faith” career change, I am choosing to be home. I am choosing which consulting projects I take on, how many hours I want to and can work, while still having time for all our children’s activities, events and doing things as a working mom I craved to do daily that seemed more “wifey” to me like make lunch for my husband when he stops home, take the girls to the lake on a weekday, play at the park with no deadlines, drive to track meets on weekdays in the spring to see Hunter compete without wearing a dress suit and high heels, spend days at the farm with the kids, my parents and grandparents and I told Nathan I will even organize, clean and possibly put away laundry. That will make me so “wifey”.
I want to allow time for him to grow our business, not feel pressure about my schedule, when he needs to get the kids to one activity or if I have thawed something out for supper.
It’s my turn to worry about some of the things he has been doing for me in our marriage for the past six plus years.
After my “wifey” rant/ explanation, my husband smiled and agreed I can be “wifey” now.
But the truth is, he married me as a career woman. He doesn’t know me as anything else. We met on an airplane eight years ago this summer. He has never known me as a stay-at-home mom or wife. He has to be a little nervous, whether he will admit it or not, to see what I turn out to be in this new chapter of life. He is still encouraging me to expand my speaking engagements, to continue with my communications consulting while not missing the moments I have longed for at home with our family.
So today…on my first day home, I debuted my “wifey” skills, by having his favorite steak sandwiches ready to go when he came for lunch. The recipe is from The Pioneer Woman. I’ve made it for years, even in cast iron over a campfire. I know beef is an easy way to win a man’s heart and I definitely sealed my “wifey” debut today with this lunch. Nathan was surprised, delighted and said, “You don’t even have to rush off to a conference call now!”
While I sort out the rest of my “wifey” roles, I am taking on a couple projects, cleaning out, renewing relationships and spending more time with my kids. I scheduled Miss A for her pre-school screening today and filled out forms for all the kids to get passports. I even made our bed. How wifey of me.
|Day One at home this morning on the North Dakota prairie. I showered!|
I might not look like a traditional wife, but being wifey is a term I am very comfortable owning and living out in this life new chapter.