He didn’t mean for his question to be ill intended. It was the first question I was asked after talking about my career in agriculture. The question was not malicious. Instead I believe the man’s question I had to answer this week in front of a group of a high school students taking part in a tour of state government was meant to set me up to try to inspire the students. Instead, it sent me spiraling.
The first question asked to me was…
“Can you tell us how you as a young woman got into a position of leadership in what I think has been a predominantly male industry…I mean other than secretaries?”
I didn’t answer as concisely as I would have liked. I rambled a bit about if you think women aren’t paying attention and cannot know agriculture just as well as men, you are wrong. I shared also I think women are savvy businesswomen because of their ability to communicate with numerous audiences and juggling numerous responsibilities at once.
But the question has haunted me since Monday afternoon. It’s run through my head 100x. I posted it on my personal Facebook page and received many comments back about what people thought I might have said or should have said. I also received some well written, thoughtful messages from males and females. Clearly this question resonated with not just me.
I am a woman. I have a career. I started as a teen mom. A single mom. I felt like I was wearing The Scarlet Letter. I had mentors in my parents and amazing family support but it was a long road to forge to build my career. I worked long hours as an intern to build a foundation for my career. I worked late nights as a waitress for cash and even worked weekends and one weeknight in a local grocery store bakery and deli. I was not going to let my son be a statistic of a “single mom”. I was going to be a success for him.
At age 21, I had a superior in a role of authority over me make sexually harassing comments towards me. I had to donate the entire outfit I was wearing the day he made comments to me that made me feel dirty and ill. I could no longer look at that black skirt and printed top with out thinking of his disparaging comments.
At age 23, I had a LSAT score, pondered law school and at the advisement of my own dear attorney girlfriend continued on with my marketing career path. There seemed to be more happy marketers in the world than attorneys. I had a salary and an office. My philosophy was adopted from what my parents taught me. If I worked hard, I would be rewarded. I would be a success. I would be happy.
At age 26, I was told that I maybe shouldn’t get that raise because “he” didn’t make that much money when he was my age. At age 27, I was told I shouldn’t get that raise because my soon-to-be husband already made too much money. Wink wink. Laugh laugh. It was all in good fun, or so the men thought. I quickly learned I was going to have to draw lines in the sand. And so I did. At times I put on my gloves for a good fight. I worked hard, waited for nothing and didn’t take anything for granted in business. I had success. I had failures.
I married a businessman who was surrounded by women in his profession at the time. He taught me to hold my tongue and temper. He taught me I didn’t always to have to be first or try to pursue a dream by myself. He taught me to not be so defensive to my circumstances. I wasn’t wearing a scarlet letter after all. He taught me there was a whole lot more to life than a paycheck.
I learned to work the good ol’ boys network. I was firm. I was direct. I smiled but was not pushed down by the boys. The boys didn’t always appreciate my approach. They have rolled their eyes at me, mumbled under their breath and celebrated when I left them to themselves.
I learned the boys are most often the decision makers. I learned I needed the boys to get work done. I learned I needed the boys to give me a raise. I learned I needed the boys to hire me…and they could fire me. But most of all I learned I am woman. I am not afraid of the unknown or unexpected. I am not afraid of taking on too much.
I have been empowered by women alongside of me in the trenches from “secretaries” who are the most organized, outgoing women you will ever meet to the savvy human resources professionals, public relations practitioners, media directors, account managers, art directors and more. Women have kept me going in my career, from generations of women ahead of me in my family who have given up careers for family to women who climbed the corporate and professional ladders. My college roommate is an engineer. My sister-in-law is an urologist. My aunt is a vice-president of sales. The list goes on and on of people that have laid a foundation of leadership for me.
A few years ago, I gave birth to two daughters within 18 months. I took my partially unpaid 12 weeks of maternity leave, bought a breast pump and went on a mom mission to continue with my career.
I pumped in 29 different airports before I realized what a ridiculous statistic that I was tracking. What was I trying to prove? That I could make it in a man’s world being a woman?
Probably.
I have learned especially in the last year what my role means for me to be a woman with career. I don’t need to be in the boys club. I work for and alongside fantastic people, both men and women in past and current careers. Most importantly, I am my own. I am a mother first. I am a wife. I have a career that I am proud of but it is not my sole identity.
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| photo by Jerry Hirsch |
I work in an industry full of farmers and agribusiness professionals. I love agriculture. It’s my livelihood. It brings me energy. It’s my family’s business. My parents farm. My husband and his father rely on farmers and the agriculture industry for 80% of their business. My state lives and breathes agriculture. My country produces food that feeds a global population.
It’s the industry I work in because it’s the industry I love, whether it is “predominantly men” or not. I want my kids to have the opportunity to work in agriculture someday.
But most importantly I want them to be empowered to be leaders in an industry of their choice, an industry that they love. I want my son to treat women equally. I want my girls to have equal opportunities to be anything their brother sets out to do from an elected official to a doctor to a secretary.
If I could answer the man’s question again, I would simply say, “I am where I am today because of people who have blazed a trail ahead of me, who led by example and have taught me to not be afraid of new challenges. I work in this industry because I love agriculture and most importantly because it is best for my family.”
I wrote this on and off for hours. I should edit and rewrite. But I am going to leave it raw, just as I felt when I was asked the question this week. I don’t have the answers but I know pondering this question has given me an opportunity to grow and have discussions I would have never had if I hadn’t shared this question asked of me to a wider network. I am better for it.
How would you have answered? Is it a man’s working world?
Since the beginning of time, women have always had a voice in agriculture, for they were the ones making the food choices. Today 97% of those choices are made by women…I’d say women hold the largest voice in agriculture. Farmers (both men AND women) grow the food that consumers demand. So, with a little extrapolation, those traditional men have always worked for women!
Great post – and great that you’re thinking about this. I’m sure your awareness will affect your two daughters (in a good way!) later on. Like you said, you’re a business woman in agriculture, but you’re a mom, too (and a good one, at that!)
I really enjoyed this post and I’m so glad you shared it with the world because I have no doubt it will resonate with a lot of working women, myself included. There are certainly times, but I think for the most part, I’ve rarely felt like I’m a woman working in a man’s world. I have been involved in agriculture all my life and I was the child interested in returning to the family farm, to pursue a degree in ag comm and ultimately a career in ag, not my older brother. And my family was very supportive of that decision. What has held me back (or tried to) have been not necessarily the men, but just managers in general not believing I’m old enough to be considered for a role in management. I’ll be 30 this year. It sounds like you have been on a quite a journey toward your career goals and now though you might not realize it, but YOU are the one who is inspiring the next generation of working moms in agriculture. You certainly inspire me! (sorry for the long comment BTW) 🙂
You rock! And you have wonderfully expressed what many women, including myself, have experienced and will probably continue to experience for generations to come, sadly. But you also represent the role model that I would like to hold up for my sons as well as my daughter. Keep taking the high road and fighting the good fight. Agriculture (and society in general) needs you!
This is something that hits home for me. Lately I have been hung up on numbers. My husband got a raise, which I am so happy and thankful for. But this raise makes it official that he makes twice as much as I do. I am thankful for his income. He works very hard but so do I.
AMEN! Thanks for sharing Katie. These are issues I continue to struggle with.
You took the question way to personally (welcome to the “woman” part) and you handled it as well and probably better than many women would! Be proud of that. Be proud of who you are and try not to overanalyze what was asked or why or how you answered. Hey! You didn’t fly off on him (many would have). 🙂 You are strong, beautiful, female and for some threatening but for most inspiring!!!!! Keep going, live in the present and move on. You’ll be better prepared next time it is asked but you did speak from your heart. You do not have to justify your position or how you got there to anyone but you and your God.
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Holy Moly. I can’t believe he said that.
I can’t say I’ve really dealt much with this issue. I am glad my parents raised my brother and I as gender equals…I had to mow the lawn, drive the tractor/combine, cultivate beets, etc. just as he did.
I’m grateful for the generations of working women who paved the way for gender equality for today’s working women.
Though I suppose there will always be the small-minded comments, ey?
WOW! Thanks for giving your heart. Not only in this post bit on all you do.
I have and always will love and admire you Katie! Enough said. 🙂
Whew…I know what you’re talkin’ about girly! It is SO frustrating for me at times. I have probably experienced everything you mentioned & even what some of the other ladies commented about. All I can say is GOD BLESS the trailblazers & the world shakers that inspire us & prove to us that it is possible & God bless the Men & women that support us, teach us, & mentor us b/c they see we have GRIT & that’s all that matters…not gender.
Well, here’s my take on it. It never has been a “man’s” world. Truly.
Agriculture (and others) may have been a world where men were seen the most, paid the most, and potentially believed in the most. But only because they were surrounded by themselves exchanging the idea that they were dominant and stronger and smarter and that women weren’t capable. But women were always there. Managing a long list of labors that literally enabled the men to live successfully in “their” world.
Undoubtedly, if it were a man’s world, they wouldn’t survive. Nor would they be productive and happy. They would be men. And only that. Which, by itself, isn’t any more than we all know it to be. Don’t flare up yet … Women, on their own, would be no better. Can you imagine a world of just women?
So the reality of life is that Agriculture – or any other space in the universe – is a highly interdependent place to work and thrive. As women it’s our job to simply embrace that reality. It’s when we recognize and embrace men’s strength wholeheartedly so that they no longer feel the need to keep us at bay, and when we recognize and embrace our own strength wholeheartedly so that we no longer get defensive, that the world becomes “equal”.
Until then, we continue to create our own divide.
Thank you all for the comments! I don’t know why Blogger won’t let me to reply to each comment. Something is wrong with my settings. Regardless I appreciate the dialogue. I didn’t write this to create divide. I simply shared my story and wanted to highlight that women don’t need to define their own success based on a specific industry or career. They don’t need to be in the boys club. I have worked with fantastic people both men and women who have laid a foundation of success for me. I am thankful for those people every day. There aren’t any perfect answers but having dialogue and conversations around these issues is a step forward I believe. Thank you again.
Great post! I think you did well answering his question and of course your response could have been better or more concise if you would have known the question ahead of time but life doesn’t work that way. I work in the opposite environment – I am a teacher and most teachers are women (especially primary teachers). I face different judgments – Why am I not married, why do I not have babies? Is there something wrong with me?
Not the same – but interesting the judgment that surrounds women (and men of course too).
I really enjoyed this article. I am 21 years old, and about to pursue a career in Agriculture Public Relations. Everyone has said how jobs are hard to find, how ag is mainly a male-dominated field, etc. It is nice to hear a success story every once in a while! Thanks for all you do, keep it up! I look forward to reading more!
Catching up on posts and just read this, Katie. He may have asked an absent-minded, college kid’s question, but there was a gift in it. What an opportunity to share and remember what makes you who you are and an inspiration to so many people. Bravo, Katie.