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Posted By Katie On May 17, 2011 11 Comments

Celebrating Marriage (& Advice) on Syttende Mai

Filed Under: Family Values Tagged With: love, making marriage work, marriage 11 Comments

I live on the corner of the prairie settled by Germans and Germans from Russia around a century ago but my Norwegian heritage is strong. My family and farming roots are Norwegian. For those reasons, May 17th is a day I have celebrated annually since birth as Syttende Mai (American’s version of Independence Day). Most importantly, it is also my parent’s wedding anniversary. 
May 17, 1975
The book “All I Really Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten” could be applied to me as “All I Really Needed to Know About Marriage I Learned From My Parents”. Actually, my examples have been rooted in three generations of long marriages from my great-grandparents to my grandparents to my parents. 
My biggest take away on marriage has been realistic. It is that no matter who it is you are married to, even if it is to the most loving, caring, sincere, thoughtful spouse in the world knows: marriage is hard work. 
But my mom expanded that to three simple and profound bits of advice for me through the years to make marriage work and realistically apply through joys, sorrows, daily juggling plus major upheavals of life. 

The three most profound things my mom said to me about marriage and life were:
“Don’t marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you can’t live without.”

“Agree on the big things. Compromise on the little things.” 

“You have two choices: Quit or keep going.”

Thankfully, I listened to her and my husband agreed on these points. Those bits of simple yet truly profound advice are cornerstones in Nathan’s and my marriage. My mom’s own advice has worked for my parent’s for 36 years. Plus I have learned true love, respect, compromise, selflessness, admiration, trust, honesty, partnership and devotion from both of my parents. They have taught me marriage is indeed hard work but marriages rooted in faith, friendship and love succeed.
My hope and prayer is that my parents will be celebrating their Syttende Mai wedding anniversary in another 24 years for a 60th wedding anniversary like my grandparent’s celebrate this year. I might even learn to make Norwegian wedding cake by then.
Courtesy of Google Images
Happy Syttende Mai to my Norwegian friends. Thank you to my ancestors for boarding a boat to America over 125 years ago to make the trek to USA for a new life on the prairie. We are much better off today than in the sod houses our ancestors started in. Aside from no sod house, my husband and I are even better off because of an example set for us in my parents. A huge tribute and thank you to my parents who remind me on Syttende Mai how marriage should be lived out, honored and celebrated.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says

    May 17, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    I love this post! And what a great picture.

    I’ll be really impressed if you make that cake.

    Reply
  2. Tina says

    May 17, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Such a sweet tribute to your parents and grandparents. My mother gives great advice like that…my father disagreed and left…but she still believes and gives it!
    The cake looks delicious…you should try your hand at it for sure!

    Reply
  3. The Durrer Family says

    May 17, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    I love this! And congratulations to your parents! Both my husband and I have great examples set by our parents, and we made a pact when we got married that there is, “no going back. Out is not an option.” We thought that was a good option to take off the table to help us focus on the real issues at hand. So far, 7 years and going strong – congratulations to you and your husband, too – may you share many more!

    Reply
  4. texwisgirl says

    May 17, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    what a great heritage that you still hold dear. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Jamie says

    May 17, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    I love the photo of your parents. You have a beautiful mother! And I love the quotes you have from her. Those are the things that will not die and will forever apply to life – through the good and the bad!

    Reply
  6. teresafalk says

    May 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    Nice tribute to your parents! My parents (happily married 38 years) are also a great example of what a marriage should be. Someday I hope to have their kind of marriage.

    Reply
  7. Amy says

    May 17, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    Sweet post and pretty picture of the kransekake. My mom’s advice was a bit fluffier: never marry someone if you can wear their jeans. What does that even mean?

    Reply
  8. Farmchick says

    May 17, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    A great tribute to you parents.

    Reply
  9. KEM says

    May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    I recently found your blog and i am loving it! I live in the SE corner of ND, and am 1/2 Norweigan 1/2 German, so this was a cute post!

    Reply
  10. Jane @ Going Jane says

    May 19, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    Love that your family traditions are so special!

    Reply
  11. Homeschool on the Croft says

    July 8, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Hi, found you on PW’s site! Love this post…. We’re from a Scottish island, our our roots go back to the Vikings too. Sadly, their height genes got lost somewhere on their way to me, but many folks in my district still have the fair hair, blue eyes and t-a-l-l genes!
    Great post….and great looking cake!

    Reply

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I am a mom of three kids and a wife to Nathan. Together we live on the North Dakota prairie, 97 miles from a Starbuck's. I share about family, food, farming and the prairie that I love. I used to commute 98 miles one-way to work but it required too much coffee. So now I am home, consulting, speaking, writing and primarily, juggling family life.
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