Earlier this month, my friend Leah at Beyer Beware talked about working mom confessions and included the below blog hop from the Wannabe SuperMom. I was intrigued and started to wonder if I was, could be or should be SuperMom. Or was I just a Wannabe SuperMom?
I decided I achieved moments of SuperMom status when I was a breastfeeding traveling mother. Without grossing out my brothers who read this blog by giving too many details, it was a lot of work, a lot of time, a lot of TSA screening and a lot of pumping. Yes with a high powered double breast pump. Glamourous. But, it was my shining SuperMom status moment. I didn’t do it to be SuperMom. I just did it because I could do it for my babies. And just because I was a working mom I didn’t want to sacrifice and give up something I would do if I was a stay at home mom. Truthfully that is how I attempt to juggle motherhood, marriage and a career everyday. Family first and my rest and sanity come secondary. But I have been lacking so much on the rest lately that I am weary. I am tired and I can’t be SuperMom.
Thankfully, I keep my sanity because I am married to SuperDad. And this week I had a wrench thrown into my neatly organized working mom travel schedule. Depart Sunday afternoon when everyone was leisurely having afternoon naps, arrive home late afternoon Tuesday in time for a family meal together. Instead of arriving home yesterday afternoon I had to extend my trip, re-route, reschedule and add a couple days of travel and meetings due to a last minute presentation scheduled.
This was the text from a business dinner on Monday I sent to my husband:
“Ugh hve 2 fly 2 Sac instead of home. Sorry. Will call later. My phone is almost dead. PS I love you”.
Immediate response from SuperDad said via text message:
“At least u don’t have to go to canada, love u 2, we’ll b fine”.
Canada refers to the time earlier this year I called SuperDad in a panic to tell him he needed to find my passport and overnight it to me in Sacramento so I could get to Canada for a last minute scheduled meeting. This required digging in our safe deposit box at the bank and getting to the one and only UPS drop off location in our North Dakota prairie town…the dairy supply store before the truck left for his only stop of the day. You could not make that up if you wanted to. But I got the passport and went to Canada for 24 hours.
I digress. Back to wrestling with SuperMom status and being tired…
During a few flights in recent travel days I have been reading Sabbath by Wayne Muller which is a part of the Bloom book club. My friend Kari has joined me in reading this book…and we have the best of intentions of getting together in talking about the book but for now we just text message and talk in passing at church about it. I have the icon of Bloom in the lower right area of this blog if you are interested. Last week, my boss saw the cover of the book “Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal and Delight in Our Busy Lives” laying on the table among my work files and said “oh that will make you feel guilty.” Actually the opposite has happened. I think guilt has lifted. It was a choice I made. Goodbye SuperMom guilt.
Instead of guilt, Sabbath has given me tremendous insight. I have read through the sections of Rest, Rhythm, Time and Happiness so far and I can honestly say it has been pure divinity for me. The book and Muller’s writing has forced me to stop. The work is always there. I need rest, rhythm, time and happiness for my kids, my husband, family and me.
It may sound like fluffy jargon to you but in this day when many moms are weary from trying to be SuperMom, reading about the spirituality behind the sabbath has given me peace. It has allowed me to give myself permission to rest, to get into a rhythm of routine at home, setting time aside for peace and quiet, to allow more time for the kids to visit and play with me with my computer and phone off and more time for my husband and I to talk with one another. And not talking while folding clothes or answering emails, actually sitting down together with out any electronics on around us and engaging in true dialogue.
From it all…we achieve a balance of happiness that doesn’t come from being SuperMom or SuperDad.
It comes from our own rest, rhythm, time and happiness. Now I am a long way from truly having the “perfect” balance in life. But at least it has given me focus to rest and permission not worry about being SuperMom.
Now what are you going to do? Keeping running after SuperMom status? Or read the book Sabbath and rest?
|Just to end this post with a smile…
Above is Miss E after her bath the other night. She was getting her baby “Ava” ready for winter…with out pants.